What love looks like

A friend of mine who just happens to be an awesome psychic channel and healer – Darcy Cleome – described to me how she discovered what true love looks like.

From an early age she has been able to see people’s energy – the “auras” that surround people, as well as the “cords” that connect people together. Even as a young adult, she could walk into a room and identify which people were romantically involved by seeing the energy cords connecting them. She’d see a cord stream from one person on one side of the room to another person on the opposite side of the room, and in conversation it would come up that yes, they were involved or had been involved at one point.

As she developed her work practice in Cambria, she noticed that married couples walking into The Amethyst Healing Center would have cords not just attached to each other, but wound together and leading to the ground, as if they had wrapped these cords into a single braid that grounded and supported them. Every married couple she saw, without fail, had this arrangement of interwoven cords.

Until she discovered a couple that didn’t.

This couple came into the Center one day, and Darcy had troubles identifying the relationship they had. She could see that they were a warm, loving people who were attentive to each other, not just in their actions but also in their auras. Their energy was soft and warm and combined to create a cloud of light and softness that enveloped both of them.

Now she had seen this “cloud” effect in other loving couples, but this couple had no cords connecting each other or combining between them. None whatsoever.

This confused her, because all married couples had them. And they acted like a married couple. So she asked them about their relationship.

They had been married for 40 years.

Flabbergasted, she told them of her experience viewing married couples, and how they didn’t show any signs of the cording that happened with everyone else. When they heard that, they chuckled and shared with her their secret.

They loved each other deeply. They appreciated each other’s gifts and goals.

But they did not depend upon each other for their happiness.

In most marriages, and in all of the marriages Darcy had witnessed, the relationship has certain conditions as part of its basis. Traditionally, the woman made the house into a home if the man provided financial security. Or perhaps one person would look for someone to take care of them, while the other looked for someone to take care of.

If any part of that contract is modified, the relationship is threatened. If the man were no longer capable of providing, the woman would become resentful. Or if the person who wanted to be taken care of suddenly discovered they could take care of themselves, the caretaker would become resentful. If the pressure became too much, the cords would break, the marriage would fly apart, and the couple would become two individuals again.

In this couple, the marriage was based upon mutual appreciation. Certainly there would be a division of labor – chores to divvy up, etc. – but they weren’t looking to the other person to fulfill them. Neither partner had to meet conditions that would make the other person happy, because they were each happy with themselves. Because they weren’t forced to give each other happiness, it was easy and effortless to let the happiness naturally flow outwards to each other.

And that, my friends, is what love is about. Not mutual completion, but mutual appreciation.

We all contribute something unique to the world. But because we are perfect just by being who we are, we don’t need others’ contributions. We are free to enjoy them, to appreciate them, and to enjoy sharing what we offer, but we don’t need another’s contribution.

Once we recognize that, the conditions, the neediness, the cords, fall away. All that remains is love.

All that remains is everything.